A digital interface or software application designed to intercept and reframe "fexting" (text-based conflict) into constructive dialogue, or "connects-ting."
From Old English temprian and Latin temperare—to mix in due proportion, to moderate. In metalworking, to temper steel is to heat it and cool it carefully, transforming brittleness into resilience. The name suggests the same process applied to emotion: bringing reactive heat under control to produce something stronger and more considered.
Soften reactive messages before you send them
What were you about to send?
I'm starting to feel a bit too flooded to have a constructive conversation. Can we pause for 20 minutes and then try to pick up the conversation again?
Set a reminder
Save text history for analysis
Privately logs messages you process — only stored on this device.
Daniel Oppenheimer is a writer and podcaster whose features and reviews have appeared in the New York Times Magazine, Washington Post, Texas Monthly, and elsewhere. His story for The New York Times Magazine, "How I Learned that the Problem in My Marriage Was Me," was the story of the week on the Modern Love podcast. He and his wife, couples therapist Jessica Grogan, are co-authoring The Good Enough Marriage, a book on relationships and couples therapy forthcoming from Simon Element (U.S.) and Michael Joseph/Random House (U.K.). His first book, Exit Right: The People Who Left and Reshaped the American Century, was published in February 2016 by Simon & Schuster. Far From Respectable: Dave Hickey and His Art was published in June 2021 by The University of Texas Press. He's the author and host of the Eminent Americans podcast and Substack newsletter.
Em Karimifar is an award-winning design technologist who works in the space where design and engineering meet, designing products and building them in code, with a particular interest in design systems, data visualization, and code as a creative medium. Born and raised in Iran, with a background in fine arts, he's drawn to art and design in service of social change. For the Woman, Life, Freedom movement, he curated an open-source collection of more than 350 artworks from artists around the world. His path into the field ran through architecture and graphic design before it reached software.